Shame on Me!

It's been HOW long since I have made a blog entry?? And you know why? I've been ashamed that I've had no good news to report.

I co-own a Sports Nutrition store that opened in January. I had no idea it was going to be this hard. I am probably not as stressed out as I should be, but I have become somewhat numb to the process. I guess I just thought if I did some advertising, created a few relationships - BAM! Everything would blossom. That has not been the case and it is a daily struggle to get people in the door. You know what? I have allowed the store to be an excuse to get in the way of my fitness goals. So, for the purposes of this blog entry, I will set aside what is going on with the store. BUT if you are in the Raleigh area, please visit Max Muscle Raleigh! For details, visit here and like us on Facebook.

This Lindsey Valenzuela. She is a bad ass. This is what I
want to look like. I am hoping I can get there without
joining a CrossFit! I can't even do ONE pull-up yet!

So what's been going on since November as far as me reaching my "Bright Lights, Teeny Bikinis" goal?? I had a great run for a while and am proud to report that my BF is finally in a "fair" range. I am comfortably out of the obesity category. But I've allowed myself to stumble. Money got really tight this Spring and I had to give up personal training. Personal training has been my life blood since the beginning. I am still a firm believer in using a trainer - especially when you are just getting started. But I was presented with the idea that I had to motivate myself to get into the gym. My workouts weren't for anyone but me! It was really hard to wrap my head around that. So... I slacked off. For about 3 weeks. Yuck. Shame on me!

Last week, a dear friend (you know who you are!) gave me some much needed tough love. It's essential for all of us to have at least one friend who is willing to give it to us straight; willing to make us mad; willing to make us look in the mirror and arrive at the truth we already know. So, I stumbled...AGAIN. So what. I spent the first 37 years of my life with no plan, no direction with regard to fitness. I have been at it for about 4 years now. I'm still kind of new at it. BUT - do I really want this for ME? Do I really want to achieve my goal or do I just like talking about it? Well, crap. Eeeeuuuuuurch! Gut check time.

I want this. I want this for me. I am not ready to give up. I know I will stumble again. I know I will find excuses. I know this is hard. If it were for everyone, then those bikinis would be a heck of a lot cheaper, because the demand would be so great! It's not for everyone, but it sure as heck is for me.

So, here I go again. Trudging forward. I'm headed into the gym to kill it today. Know what's interesting? Just like every stage of this journey, I've learned something new. I LIKE working out by myself. I like pushing myself to see what I can do. This is just another leg of the journey. I can still see the finish line. It's blurry from all of the sweat (and sometimes tears), but I can see it, nonetheless.

Who's on a similar journey? It might not be weight loss. It might be getting a new job, quitting a bad habit, spending more time with family, getting back into church, eating more vegetables??? Have you stumbled again? So what. Get up. Suck it up. Walk on.

I WILL see ya in the gym!