Hello. My name is Kelley and I have an addiction to sugar.

I knew better. Easter is the worst time of year for a sugar addict. I know that when I purge my system of white sugars -  even attempting to avoid it as a secondary or tertiary ingredient - I feel so much better. I am not hungry during the day. I do not crave that "mmmm...just a little  something..." in the evenings.

But then it happened. My family has a lot of birthdays in the Jan-Mar timeframe. I was allowing myself to have a little birthday cake here and there. I mean c'mon, it's someone's birthday, right? I was my choice. No one enticed me or made me. I chose it, knowing that cake is my trigger...then Easter came along. What's the harm in eating one Reeses Peanut Butter Egg on Easter morning? Absolutely nothing. If you can handle it and it is not a trigger for you to buy a whole pack when they are 50% off the next week and then eat 3 in one sitting. That's what happened. I'm not proud to admit it, but it happened.

That's the problem with addictive behavior, indulging in what you know to be dangerous can give you a very temporary surge in what you perceive to be power and control. "Everyone says this is bad for me, but screw 'em; I'm a rebel. I do what I want." It's false. You are lying to yourself. How many times have you gone down that path and feel miserable and guilty afterward? Well, guess what? Crap happens. You make mistakes. Heck, I make so many mistakes and am shocked and awed at myself when I get through an entire day without some sort of goof up.

You know what's important? "Fessin up & movin on." Telling you just made me accountable. Telling you took away the perception of power because it's not longer my secret. I am going to have to go cold turkey on the sugar and steer clear of it. Maybe there is something in your life that the only real way you are going to have power is to get rid of it. Go cold turkey. Avoid it at all cost. Okay. So do that. Start today.

I had my one victory today. I didn't buy any Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs...even at 75% off! Daggone they look good, though. Think it was the photographer that got to take that bite?? (sigh)

Keep That Chin Up!

Wow. It's been a while since I've opened my skull and shared with you. I've certainly had a lot of "nothing" going on for the past month... I am living in Raleigh full-time now and am working on the pre-marketing as I prepare for the store opening (which is still planned for June/July). We have selected the spot where we want to be, but there is a lot to be done before build out can start. We have not gone to closing on the house where I am going to live, so I'm still a vagabond living outta my car. (not literally, I have a bed to sleep in). So April and May will be busy. I can hardly wait for the store to open and get to interacting with customers again!

I started with my new trainer this week. While he's no Bruce Williams, I'm excited to see what happens. If you are in the Raleigh area, Kenneth Alston at the Rapid Fitness on Glenwood is already proving to be no joke! One of the things he has to keep reminding me is to "keep that chin up". Apparently, I have developed a bad habit of looking down when I workout. I think this started when I didn't want to look at what was looking back at me in the mirror. And I got mentally lazy because I relied on Bruce to check my form. Well, this is hard-core, go time. Kenneth probably doesn't have any idea how important those words are to me. We are at the 6 month mark of a year long journey. This next six months is going to take more discipline and focus than I have been able to muster thus far. I have got to keep my chin up! I have to dig deep and get it done. Every day, I have to envision myself walking out under the hot spotlights. Every day, imagine what my body will feel like then. Every day, I have to make the right choices to get there. Every day... Every daggone day.

Opening the store is going to be a challenge on my focus. It's gonna try really hard to become an excuse... It may win some days. Each day is a gift. Each day is another chance. But I don't have the luxury of many more chances to stumble....time is growing short. I gotta focus and move forward. I HAVE to. I look at that woman in the mirror? Does she want this? Hell yeah, she does!! I am keeping my chin up and looking forward!! Plus, keeping my chin up makes my face look thinner...