I've Already Won!

I've done it. I've sent my money off the the NPC (National Physique Committee). I am doing a show in a little over twelve weeks. My debut will be at the Max Muscle Virginia Classic on April 26th. This is completely untraveled territory for me. Gahhh!!

A friend stopped by the store last night and gave what he thought was good advice. He said, "You know you're kind of gonna embarrass yourself. There's no way you're gonna be ready in 12 weeks. The judges don't know your story. They don't know how far you've come. They will only see you standing beside shredded 125 lb women." He didn't mean to insult me. He knows my story. He knows how far I've come. He was attempting to protect me from embarrassment.

At left: 220 lbs, 34% BF
At Right: 207 lbs, 23% BF

I've given that opinion some thought… Here's the deal. I will do everything it takes for the next 12 weeks. I will work my butt off in the gym. I will not stray from the nutrition plan. I will trust the process. And at the end of that time, I'm gonna walk on stage with a smile on my face and pride in my heart. I'm not pushing the date out. I'm not waiting for a show when I'm ready. This is not about winning a show. I have no plans to go pro. If I got upset about being compared to shredded 125 lb women, I'd never leave the house! It's not about them. And while I respect judges, it's not about them either. It's about me. It's about my friends and family who love and support me. It's about sharing my story in an attempt to inspire others. That's it. It's that simple.

So. I have new goals for the stage. Here's my new list:
1. Don't fall down and just nail the routine
2. Smile the entire time and have fun
3. Don't let your fried egg sized boobies fall out if the bottom of your suit
4. Don't compare yourself to others
5. Don't cry with joy. You'll mess up your makeup
6. Don't let your number fall off and then step on it
7. Be thankful for what you have accomplished. Be thankful to the Creator and the people who helped get you there

At left: 220 lbs, 34% BF
At Right: 207 lbs, 23% BF

I may do another show later in the year which will be more geared toward "not embarrassing myself"; but this show is important. It is a huge milestone that I committed to years ago. I can learn lessons and try again - the membership lasts for the entire calendar year.

I will be in the BEST shape of my life. I have no idea how my body will respond because it's never had to do this before. I started at 256 lbs and 45% body fat. I am 205 lbs and 22% body fat. You know what that means??? I've already won!!!

Do you have a challenge ahead of you? Are you afraid of even trying because you might not completely achieve it or win? Are you waiting until everything is perfect before spreading your wings? Get over yourself. The people who know and love you will enjoy going on the trip with you. The people who don't appreciate the process can suck it. That's their problem. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are capable of amazing things. Now do them. Make this your year. And then make next year your year…. and the next…and so on.

I have to give a special thank you to a few people who are always in my corner and an unwavering cheering squad - who are actively participating WITH me: Bonita, Greg, Corinn & Evan Keene, Jeff & Lil Spence, Aunt Brenda Sullivan, David Winningham, Virginia Keene, Michael Swiman, Dawn Skelton, David Mondragon, Matt Marshall, Shannon Tufts, Jeff Piercy, Matt Wellersdick, Rick Jordan, Michele Sarrecchia, Mindy Berg, Bruce Williams, and Erika Davitch. And of course, a very special thanks to Jean Melendez who first encouraged me to get in the gym. There are so many others who have encouraged me along the way and I thank you. I know you won't be embarrassed. I know you will be proud. And I KNOW I will be.

See you at the gym!

Don't Give Yourself The Gift Of Sabotage

It's that time of year. It begins with Halloween and goes through the New Year. Many of us find ourselves using the holidays as an excuse to overindulge. The average American gains 8-15 lbs during the holiday season; only to shamefully make changes during a New Year's resolution.

Here's my challenge to you. Don't be average. I was giving this some consideration in the context of achieving my own goals. I keep picking an NPC show and then I keep moving it out because of whatever circumstances. I will not get on stage and embarrass myself if I'm not ready. BUT my plan is to BE READY for the Max Muscle Classic in April. That gives me 24 weeks. Yikes! The countdown begins... And guess what's right smack in the middle between here and there??? Yep. THE HOLIDAYS!!

I was just talking to a nutrition client this morning (Go, Lanya!) about this very concept. The way that we approach nutrition at Max Muscle is to allow yourself a cheat meal every one or two weeks. Staying on that plan is simple during the holidays when you plan ahead and demonstrate a little self control. Here's the deal: Thanksgiving Day meal and Christmas Day meal can be your cheat meals! BUT that means that you have to behave yourself for the rest of that week. Have a holiday party coming up? Eat like you know you should for the rest of the time - even the day of the event - and then have your cheat meal at the party. It really is that simple. Don't sabotage your goals because there are Christmas cookie trays and candy jars readily available at every turn. You don't have to eat the Halloween candy your kids don't like. I am giving you permission to cancel your membership in the "Clean Plate Club". Don't wait until January to start taking care of you. Give yourself an early Christmas present. Take care of yourself now.

I will be enjoying Thanksgiving Day with family. I am going to eat some of my wonderfully indulgent sweet potato souffle. I am going to have a big spoonful of my sister's mashed potatoes. I LOVE Cranberry sauce - gonna have some of that, too. I will likely have a slice of pie. And??? So what. I will be disciplined the rest of the week. I will not stretch the leftovers into a three day binge. I will follow that same pattern for Christmas. And I will stay on track because of it.

Guess what? I REALLY want to stop talking (and blogging) about it. I REALLY want to strut my muscley self on a stage in 24 weeks. Maybe you could help encourage me. Maybe you can encourage others around you. Maybe you could encourage yourself. Ooooooh. Yes. Let's.

See you in the gym!

What's your secret?

Lately, I've been posting a lot of pictures of my "Before and During" pictures on various FB pages about transformations. I am back on track to my goal of getting on stage in a teeny bikini. It is a self-encouragement to see how far I've come. But I want to get to the point where I don't feel like I have to wear my before picture on a t-shirt to prove how far I've come.

But a lot of life's adventures are like that. We don't want to be a summary of our past actions. Every day is a chance to show people what you're made of. I am starting to get comfortable in my "newer, improved" body. I apologize for the way I currently look less and less. When people say I look great, I'm working really hard to not say, "well, I still have this innertube... but look at my loose skin... I have a long way to go...". I'm starting to say "thank you" and leave it at that. Because I do look great. I am at a "fair" bodyfat percentage. I am active. I eat right.

So, you know I always have to bring it back around to you. Is there something in our life you've been working on and made progress? When someone compliments you, say "thank you". And move on.

So what's my secret?? Workout hard. Eat clean. Drink lots of water. Get some sleep. Smile. But you already knew that answer.

Shame on Me!

It's been HOW long since I have made a blog entry?? And you know why? I've been ashamed that I've had no good news to report.

I co-own a Sports Nutrition store that opened in January. I had no idea it was going to be this hard. I am probably not as stressed out as I should be, but I have become somewhat numb to the process. I guess I just thought if I did some advertising, created a few relationships - BAM! Everything would blossom. That has not been the case and it is a daily struggle to get people in the door. You know what? I have allowed the store to be an excuse to get in the way of my fitness goals. So, for the purposes of this blog entry, I will set aside what is going on with the store. BUT if you are in the Raleigh area, please visit Max Muscle Raleigh! For details, visit here and like us on Facebook.

This Lindsey Valenzuela. She is a bad ass. This is what I
want to look like. I am hoping I can get there without
joining a CrossFit! I can't even do ONE pull-up yet!

So what's been going on since November as far as me reaching my "Bright Lights, Teeny Bikinis" goal?? I had a great run for a while and am proud to report that my BF is finally in a "fair" range. I am comfortably out of the obesity category. But I've allowed myself to stumble. Money got really tight this Spring and I had to give up personal training. Personal training has been my life blood since the beginning. I am still a firm believer in using a trainer - especially when you are just getting started. But I was presented with the idea that I had to motivate myself to get into the gym. My workouts weren't for anyone but me! It was really hard to wrap my head around that. So... I slacked off. For about 3 weeks. Yuck. Shame on me!

Last week, a dear friend (you know who you are!) gave me some much needed tough love. It's essential for all of us to have at least one friend who is willing to give it to us straight; willing to make us mad; willing to make us look in the mirror and arrive at the truth we already know. So, I stumbled...AGAIN. So what. I spent the first 37 years of my life with no plan, no direction with regard to fitness. I have been at it for about 4 years now. I'm still kind of new at it. BUT - do I really want this for ME? Do I really want to achieve my goal or do I just like talking about it? Well, crap. Eeeeuuuuuurch! Gut check time.

I want this. I want this for me. I am not ready to give up. I know I will stumble again. I know I will find excuses. I know this is hard. If it were for everyone, then those bikinis would be a heck of a lot cheaper, because the demand would be so great! It's not for everyone, but it sure as heck is for me.

So, here I go again. Trudging forward. I'm headed into the gym to kill it today. Know what's interesting? Just like every stage of this journey, I've learned something new. I LIKE working out by myself. I like pushing myself to see what I can do. This is just another leg of the journey. I can still see the finish line. It's blurry from all of the sweat (and sometimes tears), but I can see it, nonetheless.

Who's on a similar journey? It might not be weight loss. It might be getting a new job, quitting a bad habit, spending more time with family, getting back into church, eating more vegetables??? Have you stumbled again? So what. Get up. Suck it up. Walk on.

I WILL see ya in the gym!

The Past Fades

Included in one of my very first blog entries is a photograph of me standing next to Señor Frog. I have a smile on my face, but I was not entirely happy. I had no real understanding of the toll my sedentary lifestyle was taking on my body.

I have kept a copy of that picture in my gym bag and would refer to it often to see where my hard work had brought me. There were times I felt the need to pull it out to show people that while I am not where I want to be yet, I am sooo much better than I was....see?? Can't you see my progress??

An interesting thing happened recently. I carry foot spray in my gym bag. (C'mon, everybody's shoes get nasty eventually.) That spray has been in the same pocket for a long time. But a few weeks ago, it leaked all over my bag. It ruined the "before" picture. All that's clearly visible now is my face...my smile. That little mishap came at a great time. I have recently learned to embrace where I am now. I work really hard to make my body healthy and strong. I don't need to show you my before picture anymore. I want to show you what I am doing NOW. I want to share with you the concept of where it will be in the near future. I want to talk about HOW I'm getting there.

One of the hardest, most head-smacking classes I took in college was Aethestics. I'm still not sure I entirely understand the philosophy. One thing I did take away is that as an artist, the understanding of the process is equally as, if not more important than the product. That's why I can appreciate a Pollock even though the product looks like paint spattered on a wall. I get why Picasso and Braque experimented with viewpoint. I see the beauty in the color fields of a Rothko. Body building (or body sculpting, as my inner artist prefers to call it) is the same. I want to talk about the process. The product will be what it is; a byproduct of this artist's effort.

Look in the mirror. You are the direct result of your actions. You are beautiful as you are. But are you taking care of you? Are you loving the process? The product will be what it will be. Work hard. Love yourself. Create goals and follow through on them. Encourage others in their path.

The past fades. Cherish the present. Look forward and keep moving.

See ya in the gym!

I'm Not Ready

I am coming up on the one year anniversary of the start of this process. I want to be honest with you. I'm not ready. I'm nowhere near ready. This year has been an amazing path of transformation for me. I have learned a lot about what I am capable of. I have learned a lot about what I can do. I have learned a lot about what hard work it takes to get there. And I have learned that I'm not ready.

So bear with me. I'm not giving up. But I am going to change the subtitle from "A 365 day fitness journey..." to "A lifetime fitness journey..." I hope that's okay with you.

One of the biggest things I have learned is that this is a slow and steady lifestyle change. I LOVE being in the gym. I love working out and putting on mass and seeing my muscle tissue come alive. I rarely miss a chance to work out. But to get where I want to go, I need to commit to two-a-days and more consistent cardio on a daily basis. I pass by the cupcakes and cookies on most days and feel like a rockstar and pat myself on the back. But you know what? I cave sometimes....more than I should. A barbecue sandwich here, a handful of marshmallows there is no big deal for a "normal" person who is trying to lead a healthy lifestyle. But I'm not normal. I've committed to being extraordinary. It takes more discipline than I have at the present time. I admire fitness competitors so much! It's hard!

So what the heck? Well, "BIG MUSCLES - TEENY BIKINIS" may not happen for a while. I am tentatively looking toward the Max Muscle Virginia Classic in April. But that's just to keep me focused. I am not committing to a specific deadline. I will keep working hard. I will keep challenging you to be the best, healthy you. I will continue to work on my discipline. Would you be so kind as to continue to cheer me on? Thanks. You're the best.

See ya in the gym!

Sheep in Wolves Clothing

Lately I have noticed that there are a lot of friends on Facebook at three o'clock in the morning mentioning their inability to sleep. Sheep seem to have completely eluded so many. Restless nights lead to cranky mornings and unfocused days. Too many restless nights can lead to various health concerns. There are published studies on the need for sleep. I'm certainly no expert on the topic, but I have a few observations on this matter.

That's not how you're supposed
to do it

Restful sleep is one of the key components of a healthy lifestyle - along with good nutrition, good hydration, exercise and lowered stress levels. The thing is, being remiss in any of these affects the other. Lack of sleep can affect your food choices - oversleep once you finally fall asleep and grab a muffin? Or skip breakfast all together because you're running late? Miss taking your walk because you're too tired? Eat junk because you think you're hungry when you are merely poorly hydrated? Being tired, hungry, out of shape stressing you out? Yeah, yeah, yeah - the point already.

While I realize not everyone is prepared to commit in the way that I have, we each can take a look at our daily environment for ways that we can regain the balance. Think about the last time you worked in the yard all day; or swam and ran on the beach. I mean a really great, full day - when the kids were relatively good and stress was at a minimum. You were happy and relaxed. Did you get a restful sleep? Exercise and physical activity are great assets in the construct for finding those elusive sheep. Making sure you take your water bottle with you and that you consuming sufficient food to provide energy through the day will also allow your body to develop a cycle. Your body is a machine. It really wants to operate properly. I promise.

We are constantly inundated with stimuli. Right now, I am watching an episode of Magnum PI (yes, Magnum PI) on my iPad, while keeping up with the live stream of the Olympic games on my iPhone; all while typing this entry. And somehow my brain is able to process all three. We cannot stand to let our brains relax. You know you do it. You're on Facebook with the TV on and playing Words with Friends on your electronic device thinking - "why can't I ever get to sleep?" It's like purposely ramping children up right before bed and then expecting them to choose to settle down and rest. Consider turning off all electronic devices, including ereaders, approximately thirty minutes before your desired sleep time. It will seem really hard and like it's not working at first. But your brain will thank you.

Know why they call it counting sheep?
Can you imagine how boring it is to
count sheep? I mean, you could stand there
with your mouth hanging open with your
brain completely in neutral.
Ahhhhh....uhhhhh...zzzzzzzz

Here's my proposal for you. And this will not happen overnight (har har) with one attempt. Try for 3 straight weeks to address the health factors I mentioned above. They make some pretty cool water bottles now. Good nutrition choices are a little easier to maintain with things like protein shakes from Max Muscle (shameless plugging, I know). Avoiding stress is sometimes a little more difficult. But for three weeks, look at changing the way you approach to what stresses you out. Traffic? I find that George Clinton helps a lot. Maybe Kenny Chesney can make you think you are sitting on a beach with Corona in hand. Someone at work getting on your nerves? For three weeks, kill them with kindness. Family making you pull your hair out? Own it. Don't allow them to take your health from you. And of course, my favorite, exercise! Doesn't have to be an hour at the gym, but incorporate some sort of intentional physical activity each day. I say intentional because it speaks to your discipline and commitment. It can be something simple like a stroll around the block with your dog or vacuuming and sweeping the entire house.

I realize that there are other factors that contribute to sleeplessness. There are people who suffer from medical cases of insomnia. As we age (ugh), our sleep patterns are affected. Sometimes a glass of red wine before bed can help. Some have found melatonin and other herbal supplements help. Here's another shameless plug - Max Muscle makes two products that I stack together that have been found to be very effective. Max ZMA and QuadraCuts Nighttime. Please let me know if you're interested in giving it a try. The combination of zinc, magnesium, melatonin and valerian are a natural way to enjoy a deep, restorative, restful sleep.

So maybe I'm full of hooey. Maybe you're just destined to be cranky and tired all of the time. But do me a favor, give it a shot and let me know how many sheep you count. Maybe you've forgotten what a good night's sleep even feels like. Good thing somebody wrote this blog entry so I can read it and give it a try, too! I should make sure I'm practicing the preaching.

Here's to some peaceful dreams...

See ya in the gym!

P.S.
As an added bonus, here is a poem my Grandma Ruth used to recite to me while she rubbed my back. It always seemed to do the trick (until she woke me up with her ridiculous snoring, of course). See if you can get someone to recite it to you...back rubs optional :-)

When day and night are blending
At the twilight of days ending
May sleep, the balm of rest on you bestow
May your spirit leave and wander
With the angels over yonder
And be blest, where the sweetest blessings flow

Your Mom Was Right!

Stand up straight. Eat your vegetables. Wear clean underwear.

One of the most frustrating things I see at the gym is people with great bodies and terrible posture. I want to run over and make them adjust their alignment. Even when you aren't in the best shape, using good posture makes you look better and feel more confident. In addition to the aforementioned benefits, there are other reasons to employ good posture: enables deeper breathing, enables good circulation, relieves pressure on your spine. How many of you adjusted your posture as you read this? Think about it the next time you are driving in your car. That's the place I catch myself the most. Stick that chest out, pull those shoulders back, keep that chin up and see how it makes you feel. Enjoy that feeling. Maybe those other people in the gym will catch on and stop getting on my nerves.

As to the second point - eat your vegetables; even those leading a healthy lifestyle often skip vegetables. I am a culprit in this area. I am fine eating lots of animals. I will eat plenty of whole grains, rice, quinoa, and other good carbs. But broccoli? Salad? Green beans? Meh. Pass the bowl. It's not that I don't enjoy them when I actually get around to adding them, I just never chose them first. Green, leafy vegetables not only provide essential nutrients, but they are filling which may lead you to refrain from impulse eating later in the day. So remember to make room on your plate for that spinach. You'll thank me later. (For those who just can't get down with veggies, Max Muscle [and other supplements suppliers - I like the Barlean's version] offer powdered vegetables you can add to your protein shake to help get your daily intake.)

I'm just going to leave that third point alone. You know what it means...

See ya in the gym!

I'm At 12!

"I'm at 12" is a mantra I like to use when I work out. It's how I motivate myself to get to the final few reps in a set of twenty reps. When I'm at twelve, there are only eight more. I'm more than halfway. There's no turning back - just breathe and push through.

Get where I'm going here? I am currently 9 months through my year-long journey. I have already talked to my trainer and my show date has moved to the right by three or four months. It's okay. I've had a few setbacks. When I started this plan last October, I had no idea that I would be moving to another state and opening my own store. Just a teensy weensy bit distracting!!

I am really enjoying my training sessions again. My NC trainer is really a gem. I have enough muscle development now that we can really concentrate on how to train my body with the best possible effect. I am concentrating on things like ensuring my biceps muscles are developing in symmetry to my triceps, making sure each of the faces of the quadraceps is equally prominent - cool stuff like that. He is helping me develop my shins and ankles so I can run more efficiently and with less discomfort. I feel like a science experiment and I'm loving it! I liken the process to when a musician is first learning the notes; it's impossible to really work on "making music." I have spent the last two years woodshedding. Now I get to spend time making the notes come alive. And as any musician knows, that's a lot more fun and rewarding.

I promise to do better about keeping you posted and writing more frequently. I see posts on Facebook that a lot of you are on your own journeys. Keep me posted. I want to encourage you! Maybe you're at twelve and you need to be reminded you are only eight more reps away from reaching your goal.

See ya in the gym!

Hello. My name is Kelley and I have an addiction to sugar.

I knew better. Easter is the worst time of year for a sugar addict. I know that when I purge my system of white sugars -  even attempting to avoid it as a secondary or tertiary ingredient - I feel so much better. I am not hungry during the day. I do not crave that "mmmm...just a little  something..." in the evenings.

But then it happened. My family has a lot of birthdays in the Jan-Mar timeframe. I was allowing myself to have a little birthday cake here and there. I mean c'mon, it's someone's birthday, right? I was my choice. No one enticed me or made me. I chose it, knowing that cake is my trigger...then Easter came along. What's the harm in eating one Reeses Peanut Butter Egg on Easter morning? Absolutely nothing. If you can handle it and it is not a trigger for you to buy a whole pack when they are 50% off the next week and then eat 3 in one sitting. That's what happened. I'm not proud to admit it, but it happened.

That's the problem with addictive behavior, indulging in what you know to be dangerous can give you a very temporary surge in what you perceive to be power and control. "Everyone says this is bad for me, but screw 'em; I'm a rebel. I do what I want." It's false. You are lying to yourself. How many times have you gone down that path and feel miserable and guilty afterward? Well, guess what? Crap happens. You make mistakes. Heck, I make so many mistakes and am shocked and awed at myself when I get through an entire day without some sort of goof up.

You know what's important? "Fessin up & movin on." Telling you just made me accountable. Telling you took away the perception of power because it's not longer my secret. I am going to have to go cold turkey on the sugar and steer clear of it. Maybe there is something in your life that the only real way you are going to have power is to get rid of it. Go cold turkey. Avoid it at all cost. Okay. So do that. Start today.

I had my one victory today. I didn't buy any Reeses Peanut Butter Eggs...even at 75% off! Daggone they look good, though. Think it was the photographer that got to take that bite?? (sigh)