Thursday Three - The Silver Lining Seeker is Baaaackkk!!

Hey, everybody. Thanks for going through my pity party with me. I had a good cry, felt sorry for myself, pondered all of the things that have gone wrong and now I'm ready to re-focus on the task at hand - getting lean!!

1) The support of friends and family who really understand you and know how to say the right things to keep you motivated are essential to your success. It was very humbling to rely on the input of others. You know who you are - thanks so much for your encouragement and perspective.

2) I had a great Christmas. I got some of the greatest gifts this year. From my sister, I received 4 sessions with my trainer - thrilling! From my roommate, I received a very gracious gift card to Kohl's because I need new clothes for my skinnier self and from my friend/nutrition coach, I received a water bottle that says "On a journey to a better me one rep at a time." How awesome to receive encouragement in such a tangible way. I'm soo gonna do this and you believe in me!

3) I am really embracing this whole Sports Nutrition lifestyle. I am working on my certification to be a nutrition coach and...wait for it...am opening a Max Muscle Sports Nutrition store in Raleigh, NC by summer(ish). There are a lot of details to figure out between now and then and I'll keep you posted on my parallel path of progress. I'm excited about the business opportunity and eventually owning 100% of the store. Look out, Triangle, I'm coming your way!!

See ya in the gym! Get in there, people!

Thursday Three is Friday Four...And It's a Doozy

Thursday Three is a Friday Four this week. I have a good excuse, I really do. The things I'm sharing this week are showing a side of myself I'm reticent to share. So I've been putting it off. I like to take the opportunity in this blog to encourage others and in doing so, continue to stay accountable and on track. The reality is that even "Miss Silver Lining" has bad weeks where I don't want to see the good side in my situation. This has been one such week...a Pity-Party-A-Rama! So bear with me as I share some of my dark moments. I'm hoping that in doing so, you will be reminded to forgive yourself when you're not on top of the world. In doing that, I can encourage others and stay accountable and on track. See a pattern here?

1. I was thrilled when my roommate invited me to join him and a few friends at the local hangout this past Tuesday. I don't get out much, I'm sad to say. I used to love being one of the guys and hanging out. Tuesday night was different. I felt awful. I actually cried a little when I got home and crawled into bed. Let me explain the dumb, irrational reason why. The guys, as guys often do, shared assessments and likes/dislikes about the women at the bar. In their innocuous banter, I was reminded of the fact that I have none of those "classic pretty girl" qualities. I don't even have big boobs anymore. I allowed myself to feel ugly and dumpy and quite possibly for the first time in my life, I walked out with my head down and shoulders rounded. I'm in a weird place right now. I'm getting used to my new, changing body. I'm seeking for my self esteem. Not to mention the fact that my hair looks dumb as it's growing out. Bleh. Get over myself already!

2. I worked out with my friend and nutrition coach, Erika, yesterday. She is working to compete in April at the Max Muscle NPC show at Woodbridge High School. It was humbling. I have 10 lbs of muscle on her but she's a lot stronger than I am. She schooled me a bit on my form, too. It is important to learn and I'm thrilled to do so. It's just the timing of it. It was in the midst of my pity party week, so I teared up when I headed back into the locker room. Bleh. My good friend, Dave, reminded me that Erika has competed before. She is working to compete again in April. She's ahead of me. It's okay. Don't panic. Thanks. Dave. I need that.

3. I failed at losing the last 11 pounds by the end of the year. Instead, I put on two and a half! Yes! More tears of humility. Bleh. I am working with Erika to tweak my meal plan and I am upping my cardio frequency. I KNOW I'll get it. It's just the timing...you know, the whole pity party thing.

4. I'm eating whatever whenever this weekend...starting today. I am exhausted from being disciplined eating clean six times a day. This is my Christmas gift to myself. I promise not to overindulge. I don't think I am actually capable of overindulging anymore. My idea of indulgence is having cereal and fruit for breakfast with NO source of protein except my skim milk! Take that! I'm a rebel!

See ya in the gym! (on Monday)

Thursday Three

1) It is almost impossible to be grumpy when listening to Christmas music. Sitting in traffic? Blllling! No worries. Burl Ives is telling me to have a Holly Jolly Christmas. Somebody doesn't follow through on what they said they were going to do? Bllllling! Michael Buble is wooing me again with his version of Jingle Bells. Oh my, I still haven't lost a single pound. Blllling! Thank goodness Ella & Bing are telling me to keep my schoz maroon. Ahhh. All better now.

2) While The Biggest Loser is popular and a wonderful show to watch, there is a danger of being discouraged by the ridiculous results the contestants are able to achieve in seven short months. I find myself comparing my progress to the show. It doesn't discount what they do or what I do, but it is human nature to compare. I just gotta keep my head down and press on. You press on too, my friends.

3) One of my sub goals was to get down to 199.9 by the end of the year. When I established the goal, I was 216 lbs. Three weeks ago, I got to 211. Still 211. Hello, new plateau. I'd like to be done with you now. I was 165 lbs when I graduated from high school. I was 185 for a few months in 1996. If I can achieve this goal, it will be the first time I have been under 200 in a very long time. The cool thing is that this time I have changed my lifestyle to set me up for success in keeping it off. I'm pretty excited about that. I'll get there. Gotta get better at being patient. I'm careful about praying for patience though. God always proves to have a sense of humor when people do that.

See ya in the gym!

Blue & Gray 5K Results

Finished in 42:33. That ranked me at 220 out of 250 (19/21 in my age/gender group), but I finished and knocked four & a half minutes off my last 5K. Going into this one, I had three goals:
1) Jog a mile without walking
2) Get a better time than the last one
3) Not come in last place
Check, check, and check. Next!

See ya in the gym!

Thursday Three is Friday Four

Thursday Three is Friday Four; not because I have more to say, but because I didn't get to it yesterday.

1. Mountain View High School has a wonderful Arts Dept with talented and dedicated teachers. It is because of people like chorus teacher Bonita Keene (my sister!), band teacher Doug Armstrong and Theatre Tech Ops teacher Eric Hokanson that I was inspired to quit my job and pursue something I could love and be passionate about. The kids are wonderful examples of a time when we worked hard to pursue our dreams. I attended a fantastic, entertaining chorus concert last night and am looking forward to the band concert on Tuesday. It's great to get inspiration from others. If you live in the North Stafford area, check out one of the programs at MVHS.

2. I posted new bikini pics on bodybuilding.com. If you had asked me two years ago if I would like to post ANY pictures of myself on the Internet, I would have balked at the idea. But here I am, every month, putting all my flaws out there for the world to see. I do it because it's good for me to be a little uncomfortable. Discomfort helps us grow. It's good for me because in six months you and I are going to see some significant changes! It's good because I can already see subtle change, which keeps me focused and encouraged. I get really uncomfortable when people compliment me because I know what I look like out of the compression pants and push up bra. So if you still want to compliment me after seeing me in a bikini, I'll learn to start taking it and smile and say "thank you".

3. I had the best compliment from my trainer yesterday. (I'd post a link to his email but he is not accepting new clients cuz he's so awesome that he's booked solid. What a guy!) I was doing an exercise where I would catch a 12 lb medicine ball as I squatted, then throw it back to him as I was coming back up. For any of you who have known me for a long time, you know that the whole hand-eye coordination thing has always managed to escape me. So when Bruce described what we were going to do, I was a little intimidated. I rocked! When I mentioned how much better I am at such things, Bruce said...."well, that's cuz you're an athlete." I could have cried. I didn't. I threw the ball a little harder. Yessss!!

4. I have got to remember to do my Thursday Three so I don't have to come up with a Friday Four. This is totally cheating and should count as a Friday Fail...ha!

See ya in the gym!

Small, Medium, Or Large?

I find myself becoming more and more observant of the perceived health of others around me these days. As I've said in previous posts, I started this journey to be a healthier version of me. It is by choice that I want to get down to 12-15% Body Fat. I have a specific look in mind for myself. While I don't judge people I see for the choices they have made, I realize that to be successful, we have to be happy with each version of ourselves along the way.

I came across a picture of me when I was on a cruise in October 2008 (see right). I was at my heaviest - approx 254 lbs - but I was happy. I was never entirely unhappy in that heavier body. I want people to be happy where they are. Happiness is not an excuse for complacency. You still really need to see a doctor and determine what is a healthy you. HEALTHY people come in different sizes - small, medium, large...you get the idea.

My personal observation of people who are obese is that they (we) typically fall into one of these categories:

1. I hate the way I look, but I am not interested in putting in the work to change. I don't want to give up the food I love and the free time I have by spending my time exercising
2. I love the way I look. What's wrong with carrying a little extra weight if I'm healthy? I loove being a full figured woman?? (I agree only if you really are healthy - great heart rate, BP, endurance, BF%, cholesterol, etc)
3. I am okay with the way I look. I'm kinda stuck. It's the body I have and I don't have the time to change it. Maybe I'd be more attractive, but I really don't care enough
4. I hate the way I look. I'm miserable. I gotta make a change to be attractive to the opposite sex and have meaning in society
5. I've tried before and I always put the weight back on. I just can't do it anymore. (to you I say - keep trying!)

There were days I was one or a mixture of all of the above. Where do you fit in? Maybe you're not overweight, but you have other health challenges that an active lifestyle can help correct. Your health, social value, physical attractiveness, personality, or ability do not have to be wrapped up in your size. Start making choices that bring you joy. Seek for happiness and you will find it. Look in the mirror. Love the version of you that you are RIGHT NOW. Take a hard look at that person. What were the choices that got you there? Are you ready to change? Can you motivate yourself enough to give yourself some tough love when it gets hard? The best way to stay motivated is when you are happy in who you are. It makes you want the best for yourself, because you realize that you deserve it! What better reason is there to take care of you?!

For the record, I am still obese. I have great blood pressure readings & I can run up a few flights of stairs without getting winded and I'm getting closer to "healthy, but overweight" every day. I love the me I am right now. I am working to be the best me I can be...cuz I deserve it. Do something for yourself today. Don't get lost in the busy-ness of the season. Remember to take a moment for you.

See ya in the gym!

PS: I'm posting stats & photo updates here this week. Check it out.

Thursday Three - It's All You Get This Week

I just wasn't inspired to document or wax philosophical this week. Every time I'd think of something, I decided to just wait for Thursday. Thursday's here. I've got no excuse. Get to writing!

1. As some of you read on FB, I jogged a mile yesterday without stopping. It was an important milestone for a few reasons. I was the girl (God bless my PE teachers) who obstinately walked the mile in PE. I started off walking and never broke that stride. So in a way, this little jog around the block was a thank you to them for just trying to keep kids active during the week. I found out 2 years ago why running is a struggle for me. I have Compartment Syndrome in my lower left leg. You can google it for details but suffice it to say that it's painful and somewhat dangerous for me to run for long distances. I've built up enough strength to compensate for it for at least a mile. I may never run more than that...but then maybe I will.

2. It's time for progress pictures next week. I don't think I've had much progress but I will likely be taking some close ups of slowly developing muscle. Ugh. My muscles are screaming like Norma Desmond (name that quote and film).

3. My workouts are getting harder. I am pushing myself like never before and it's fun! It's gotten to the point where I see people in the gym stopping to watch me. On Monday, a dude said to my trainer "that right there is why I don't train with you, Bruce". Ha! It was the part where I was on set 2 of 3 of 60 walking lunges while holding a 25 lb plate in each hand. I'm gonna be so beast! I have to keep focusing on what that's gonna look like. Focus. Focus. Focus.

See ya in the gym!

PS I've signed up for another 5K on Dec 11th. Search for a race in your area, especially one where they encourage walking, too. You can do 3 miles! Do it this month. Forget resolutions. Just decide now to change your life.

Thursday Three - Happy Thanksgiving!

1) I am happy to take a whole day to give thanks for all of the blessings I have this year. And I have been thinking about my cheat meal all week. I thought about making healthier, less indulgent versions of the things I love; but I changed my mind. Why have a cheat meal if it's not cheating?! Yum. Eating at 4:30. I'll behave til then, I promise.

2) I ran/jogged/walked in the Turkey Trot this morning. It did it in around 45 minutes, which isn't great, but I've never professed to be a runner. It was a perfect day for it and I was glad I was able to get some exercise in before the aforementioned cheat meal. Try to get a little activity in today. Maybe start a new family tradition of walking around the block at halftime or doing "turkey jacks" (like jumping jacks, but more festive & Thanksgivingy) before desert.

3) I got over a hang up this week. One of the trainers I have befriended at LA Fitness and hug on the regular, picked me up this week. I used to panic when someone tried to pick me up for fear that they would hurt themselves. I've never been a petite, delicate flower; so even when I weighed less than now, I would wriggle out of it if someone even tried. So when I hugged G on Tuesday, I let him pick me up - no squirming, just a giggle. I weigh 215 lbs. I'm still no fragile doll, but if someone wants to pick me up after looking at me, that's their problem. It's their risk. I'm just gonna giggle and let them do it.

Enjoy your day with your family and your Thanksgiving meal - and your Thanksgiving nap. Don't forget what I said about getting a little activity in. You'll feel great! And on Monday, I'll...

See ya in the gym!

This Thanksgiving, I'm Having a Big Slice of Humble Pie

I had to have a "come to Jesus meeting" with myself this past weekend. I sat myself down and interviewed myself to calibrate where I am in this whole thing. Am I doing it for me? Has it become about making other people proud of me? Can I even envision the lean version of me anymore? Am I already getting discouraged? You get the idea. I am a tough interviewer. I got right to the heart of it. And I decided I am doing it for me. I want to look back next Fall and feel really good about my accomplishment. But, next Fall is a looong time away! So, now I am looking to set some sub-goals; little milestones that will keep me chasing the carrot (or maybe celery, since carrots are high in sugar!) I'll be developing and sharing those with you in the next week or so. I just wanted to keep you in the loop as to where my head is.

On to the entitled topic! This Thanksgiving is a little different for me this year. My dad passed away in 1996 and Thanksgiving was his thing - 25lb turkey and all. The year he died, my mom and I took road trips to Cape Cod to spend our Thanksgiving on an adventure. My sister and niece joined us a few years ago and it was always a special trip. After mom passed away in 2009, we went to the Cape one last time and Thanksgiving of 2010 was spent with wonderful friends in Denver, CO. I have no plans for 2011. This will be the first year I have spent Thanksgiving at home in 15 years! It'll be odd, but it has given me a little time to reflect. I can dwell on being sad about my losses or I can search for the blessings in my life. I have a lot of blessings. You reading this right now is a blessing to me.

I am listing ten things for which I am very thankful this holiday season. Before you get caught up in the hustle and bustle that always manages to push out the tender excitement of this most wonderful time of year, take time to give thanks. Take time to thank God. Take time to thank others. Take time to thank yourself.

Here's my ten:

1. This is the time of year I have reflect upon the goodness of a loving God. I thank God for my salvation first and foremost. I am so fortunate to have found a good church home. If you haven't found one that suits you, keep looking. God loves to see His peeps hanging out together.
2. I am thankful for my health. It improves every day, and I am rarely sick or debilitated.
3. I am so thankful for my wonderful family - Jeff, Lil, Bonita, Greg, Corinn & Evan - I love you very much. Thanks for being you.
4. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head and a car to get me where I need to go. There are so many who are less fortunate due to any number of circumstances.
5. I am thankful for sweet potatoes. They are so delicious. And this is the best time of year to add eggs, butter, coconut, pecans and brown sugar to them to make them even more so.
6. I am thankful for Bruce Williams of Platinum Results, Erika Davitch of Max Muscle, Shelby McDaniel of ShelbyKFitness, and others who are helping me change my life for the better.
7. I am thankful for the encouragement of friends. You are an invaluable support system. I hope I tell you enough how much I love you.
8. I am thankful for technology (and still I love technology; always and forever [name that film reference]) that allows me to communicate with you in such a succinct and editable manner.
9. I am surrounded by music. What an amazing gift in my life. Christmas music is so fantastic, I can't wait til Friday to start listening. I have 615 songs loaded & ready to go.
10. Laughter. I am thankful that most of the time I can find the humor in things. Most days, I chose joy. My dad used to say "just as soon laugh as cry." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I get the intent. I do love to laugh.

I am humbled and awed by this life I am living. What are you thankful for? Make your own list.

See ya in the gym!

Thursday Three

Send me your tidbits and thoughts and I will post them as part of the Thursday Three. Truth is, I'm running out of ideas! LOL!

• This week has been stinky. I have gotten the work done, but without much joy. My weight is back up this week and I am gumptionless. Next week, I will have to rock-n-roll to get back on track.
• Old Navy is making really cute, comfortable workout clothes (see. running out of clever things to share)
• Stop getting on your scale. I wish I would take my own advice. We have been conditioned to be conscious about our weight. Are your pants fitting well? Is your waist smaller that your butt? Can you run up the steps without getting winded? Can you button your shirt without fearing that a button will put someone's eye out? Then you're good.

See ya in the gym!

Seasonal Affective Disorder?

S.A.D.? I think I have something called S.I.D.W.T.D.A.B.S.I.B.D. "Seasonal I Don't Want To Do Anything But Stay In Bed Disorder". It's true. I've gotten there. This is the time when having an appointment with a trainer is so important. Even if I lie in bed and fantasize about what creative excuse I'll give him for not being able to come in...I get out of bed and I go. Thank you to those who will continue to keep me motivated through the winter months.

This is the time of year that I used to think I could be one of those 1,000 lb people who laid on the couch all day and only got up to pee and eat. Some days I still feel that way. I just don't feel like doing a dang thing. Although my fitness journey has greatly affected my motivation and choices, I have to be honest in saying that it is not an overnight fix. It is a journey. I don't want you to think that every day has me jumping out of bed and I joyously lunge all the way to the gym.

The difference this year is, I AM off the couch and in about 20 minutes I will get in my car and head in to see my beloved Bruce so he can kick my butt. I do love it. I am happier than I have ever been.

You know what's funny? I looked up the treatment for S.A.D. You know what it it? "Taking long walks during the daylight hours and getting exercise can make the symptoms better. Keep active socially, even if it involves some effort."

Well...here goes.

See ya in the gym!

Thursday Three

Here it is, folks. The Thursday Three - three quick thoughts for the day...

•  "Stop talking. Start doing." Saw that on a shirt at the gym today. Find someone to help keep you accountable. Someone who is not afraid to hurt your feelings when they have to remind you to stick to your goal. Start doing it. Whatever IT is. Doesn't have to be going to the gym. But we all have something we need to stop talking about and start doing.
• Sore quad and heiney muscles suck. It's awesome to be sore, but it sucks. I am very thankful that we have bars on the bathroom wall at work to assist in my arrival and departure from the seat. I need to install those at home!
• Compression clothing is another God send in my life. Everything looks so much better when squeezed like a sausage casing. Thank goodness I don't have to parade around in a bikini all of the time. Amen.

See you in the gym!

P.S. Dropped 6 lbs of fat & gained a lb of muscle in the past 2 weeks... Check it out here for all of my updates.

All The World's A Stage

All the world's a stage and this is the role of a lifetime! As I continue each week on this journey, I learn something "new" that really just points me to a truth I already knew. I suppose it's all part of maturing and better understanding the simple things we were taught as kids.

According to family accounts, I have been a performer from day one. While I am perfectly content to be alone, I have a need to feel the eyes of others on me; but in a controlled environment of my choosing. As a teenager, that exhibited itself as being an avid fan of the theatre. As a young adult, I was very comfortable and the first to volunteer to make presentations at work. I am at ease in front of a crowd. I didn't realize this was all leading up to performing on a stage in a tiny bikini - flexing my (soon to be) massive muscles!

But the concept of the world being a stage is true in every day life. We are being observed at all times. I'm not so bold as to say that I am being stalked by the paparazzi, but being aware that we are always accountable for our actions can be a motivator. I have a responsibility not only to myself to show up at the gym and get the work done; but to others, too. I am responsible to that lady who has been at the gym for two months - sitting on the recumbent bike, watching as I lunge across the gym with sweat dripping. Maybe she looks at me and realizes she can try a few of those without feeling silly. I am responsible to the trainers I have befriended. They are looking to see if I make it in because they want me to succeed. They want to cheer me on. I am responsible to my niece and nephew. If they see that their Auntie is inspired to maintain a healthy lifestyle, maybe they will consider their own choices to making a healthy lifestyle. I am responsible to you. It becomes very a very vulnerable position, but from this prone position, I find that I am giving back to to others. And THAT is empowering.

I want to take advantage of the opportunity I have been afforded and give back where I can. When I was making goo goobs of money in the defense industry, I was able to do that financially and regularly gave to charity and the church (my niece & nephew claimed to be a charity, too, albeit not a tax deductible one). But now I make a retail workers salary, so I have to find other ways to give back. I am so lucky to be able to work in the industry that I am obsessed with. I am awed and amazed by those who work a "regular" job and are still able to get it done with nutrition and gym time. My proverbial hat is off. Kudos to you! But I am in a perfect spot to do all the things I need to reach my goal. I am afforded no excuses. The lights are on me, the lines are memorized, the role has been researched, the curtain is up...

It's show time!

See ya in the gym!

P.S. Lost 2 more lbs this week.

Thursday Three

I'm gonna try something new. Every Thursday, you're gonna get three quick bullet points. Feel free to send me some tidbits you'd like me to share. I'll post them and give you credit.

• Skim Milk has 12 grams of sugar per 8oz serving! Who thought they were being healthy drinking skim?! If you add it to your protein shake, leave out the fruit. Or add the fruit and use water to keep the carbs low. 
• Richard Simmons is the only man who should wear baggy, shortie gym shorts. A young man came in the store the other night and I felt incredibly awkward. It looked really goofy. No no.
• I love TV. As much as I love working out and being active, there are days that I just want to sit on the couch and watch a marathon of Matlock or Law & Order or America's Next Top Model. It's the embarrassing truth. Amen.

See you in the gym!

Training Wheels, Piano Lessons & Flying a Plane

What do those things have in common with preparing for a bodybuilding competition? Hold your horses, I'm gonna tell ya!

First of all, let's talk about training wheels. How many of you used them to learn to ride a bicycle? (Well, I didn't. My dad thought you should just get in there & figure it out. You can just imagine "swimming lessons". But for the sake of my point, let's pretend I did, okay? It'll be our little secret.) We find the most success at achieving our goals when we have assistance. Are there people who can do it by themselves? Absolutely. But MOST people need assistance and training if they are entering into an arena which they know nothing about. That's where I was 2 years ago. I knew I wanted to start working out to get healthier, but I had no idea where to start. I had no clue what to do in a gym and that was the main reason I was intimidated about going in. And that became an excuse...

That's where a personal trainer can be an invaluable asset. When I got home from my trip to Europe in January of 2010, I was disappointed to learn that the trainer I had been working with had left and I had a new trainer. God could not have been more gracious. Bruce Williams of Platinum Results is an absolute gem and a life changer. If you can afford to work with a personal trainer, I guarantee that it will not be wasted if you work with someone like Bruce. He has pushed me to do things I had no idea I could accomplish. He teaches me the right way to do it - very important confidence builder. He encourages me when I don't feel like doing it. He praises me when I do it well. If you are thinking about starting on a fitness journey, look into getting the assistance of a personal trainer. Follow the link to his email if you are looking for an excellent, highly recommended one. With the knowledge he has helped me gain, I now strut around the gym like I own the place. I sweat profusely and breathe hard and grunt and make ugly faces and stick my butt right in the air and I don't care who sees it because I know I am doing what it takes to reach my goal.

Piano lessons...what the heck? My point here is only that the fitness journey really needs to be approached in a methodical and well-practiced manner. You cannot play Clair De Lune the first time you sit down and touch the keys. Likewise, you cannot do 50 squats with 80 lbs on your back and then do 120 pushups. I have never been good at this aspect. I am impatient. I like fast results. I have always had the gift of "winging it" and it has served me pretty well so far in life. I was the kid who did very little homework, but still managed to pull a B+ because I'd always ace the test. I've never had a formal singing lesson in my life, but always have been blessed to be surrounded by musical people from whom I can absorb what I need. I have a degree in Fine Art, but I'm anything but a fine artist. I was a successful Financial Planner with a major defense contractor and never took a math class past Algebra 2 (thanks, Mr. Dovel!). The idea that I had to start out struggling to do 10 pushups from my knees - like a girl - and only 15 minutes on the elliptical was new for me. I had a challenge that I couldn't just wing my way through. I am proud to say that 2 years later, I CAN squat 50 times with 80 lbs on my back (3 sets, no less) and do 120 pushups from my feet - like a dude - and an hour of cardio. But it has taken time. It has taken a lot of impatient, frustrated tears. I used to cry a lot in the beginning when I couldn't make my body do what I wanted. Now I understand that it will. I just have to keep trying. One of my sub goals for this year is to be able to do one unassisted pull up. Yep. I said one. I keep trying.

I reference flying a plane in the title because our bodies are a well tuned, powerfully made machines. We are amazing creatures with tons of intricate mechanisms and functions. We have to learn all we can about how to operate it and care for it before we use it. We can push our bodies past limits, but we have to properly recover and refuel. This is where it is a great idea to study and learn all you can about the human body and how it functions and responds to exercise and proper nutrition. I have just started the process in becoming a Certified Fitness Nutrition Specialist at Max Muscle Sports Nutrition and it is so fascinating. So much we take for granted. I always think about the verse in Psalms that talks about being fearfully and wonderfully made. Boy howdy, we are! God designed us for so much more than a sedentary, slothful existence. Our bodies were made for streamlined fitness. I want to see just how streamlined this body can go. I guess then I'll be fly like a G6? (or as my friend heard the lyrics..."like a cheese stick"...)

See you in the gym!

Was The Cheesecake Worth It? ... yes, it was

I have been so neglectful on my blogging duties. I'm gonna blame it on the cheesecake, okay? My sister, nephew and I took a road trip to NYC this past weekend to see my niece. She is attending school at the New York Film Academy and it was time for a visit. It snowed like crazy on Saturday so I didn't get the cardio in that I was planning on. I did trot up the subway stairs every chance I got. (Hey, Washington, DC, there are NO escalators in NYC!) We did some walking on Sunday, including a brisk stroll to church; but our final destination was a restaurant that served...you guessed it...NY style cheesecake! I ate a huge piece and every bite was pure heaven. That one slice of cheesecake alone was my entire cheat meal for the week! I'm back home and back on track. No more cheescake for me...well...until the next time I have it.

Last week before I left for NYC, Erika, my nutrition specialist, took updated measurements for my (close enough to) one month milestone. Some of the results were discouraging. The 3 lbs I had lost were back. My body fat only went down a half a percent, but I lost almost 2 inches off my waist - in a month! The interesting part of it is that everything is getting flabbier. I know that is the cycle I will continue to see. When the fat is burned off, the skin loosens. It tightens back up as the skin recovers and as I fill the void with lean muscle. When I look at the updated pictures, (seen here) I can see the evidence of movement. I share these unflattering pics of myself to document the process and hopefully encourage someone else along their own fitness journey.

There will be ups and downs, lows and highs, laughter and tears. These 12 months will go by quickly. Heck, one month already has. Thanks for going on the journey with me. Thanks for your encouragement.

Do something active today. Run up the steps. Do dips on the edge of the couch. Close your office door and do ten pushups. Hold your grocery bags out for a count of thirty. Exercise can become addictive, trust me, I know. But by all means, STAY AWAY FROM THAT CHEESECAKE!

See you in the gym

I Love My Boobs

Did that get your attention? Well, it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Everyone needs to perform self-checks every month - even men. My mom battled the suck-butt disease for 30 years before she won and went home to be with the Lord. Check here for a diagram of how to do it.

Now back to MY boobs...I look at the progress pics I have taken lately & I notice that I am losing fat in an area where I would like to keep it...yeah yeah yeah. Men, keep reading, I won't go into too much detail.

Being overweight has its advantages. For whatever reason, I never had a bad body image; even when I was at my heaviest. There were days I was unhappy with what I saw, but for the most part I compensated for what I didn't like by showing what I did - my boobs! So one of the things that I have had to adapt to is having a much smaller rack and the realization that I will most likely end up with two fried eggs on my chest wall by the time I'm done. The interesting thing is that I like being able to easily button blouses and wear wrap dresses without wondering if I'm gonna pull a "Janet Jackson". Also, I have come to the realization that I like showing everything off! No need for compensation. Bow chicka wow wow!

So maybe it's not your boobs. Maybe there's another area of your life where you are frightened by change. With change comes courage, with courage, growth. Isn't that what we are all striving for? To grow as people? To develop our character and make a difference? This fitness journey parallels everything else in my life. I am learning discipline, self-worth, a desire to serve, and a strength of character. I take comfort in the fact that I am designed for a purpose. Take time today to look at an area of your life that is evolving. Is it forcing you to grow? Fulfill your purpose. Get out there and make a difference.

See you in the gym!

Plateaus Stink... But Don't Discourage

Really? Already? I've hit a plateau in my weight loss for the past 2 weeks. Plateaus in any program are frustrating, but inevitable. Fitness-minded goals, even if your goal is just to lose 10 lbs and reduce knee pain, means constant choices. I CHOOSE to not eat that second cookie. I CHOOSE to get my butt out of bed to get to the gym, I CHOOSE to eat my meal even when I'm not hungry. I CHOOSE to do the last 5 reps. It's always a choice. Plateaus are inevitable, but are they always out of our control?

from www.scienceclarified.com

I kicked off my ramp up with the Warrior Dash on October 1st. I added more cardio and my trainer has been pushing me to work harder. So the body is changing. I'm getting leaner. BUT the scale only shows me down 4 lbs. Ouch. Here's the reality of it. I am responsible for some of that. The "cheat meals" that I plan for Friday night football games have slipped into Saturday snacks and Sunday meal misses... I have chosen to not stay clean on weekends and I am seeing the results. I had to alter my work schedule this week, so my gym schedule has been altered, too. I have not put in the same amount of work and I am seeing the results. There is no right or wrong. It's my CHOICE. My dad always said that "you have to be responsible for your own actions." And I am.

So, how does this apply to plateaus? I have to take responsibility for the fact that I have contributed to this plateau. And in that ownership, I find some hope. This is a year long process which will extend into a life time promise to take better care of myself. I will continue to make choices that have adverse effects. I cannot let those choices give me an excuse to quit. I WILL NOT SELF SABOTAGE SO I HAVE AN EXCUSE WHEN I FAIL! I will recognize it for what it is. I will look back and see what I have accomplished. I will continue to look forward to envision what I can do. I will take a deep breath and do the work. The next plateau? I'm kicking its butt, too!

See you in the gym!

Before and...Well...Still Before

Just wanted to post a couple of pictures and give a few shout-outs. I have to thank all my friends and family for supporting me in my nonsense. But there are a few folks who have been personally involved in my journey. 

To Jean Melendez for getting me started in all this - thank you, my friend for reminding me that I can.
To Bruce Williams of Platinum Results, you have helped me beyond description and you are continuing to change my life for the better.
To Shelby McDaniel & Erika Davitch at Max Muscle, thank you for helping me get my diet clean and encouraging me to do something that scares me to death.
To David Winningham - thank you for your undying friendship, coaching and encouragement. I'm so glad we reconnected last summer.

Is that woman in the mirror really me?

Cuz I think she's a little bit crazy. As I start writing my very first blog entry, I have to chuckle to myself a little. Those who have known me for many years may chuckle a little too. See, I wasn't always the obsessive fitness junkie I am now. When I was a kid, I rolled my eyes when my dad talked about the importance of fitness. My brother and sister both participated in organized sports and when I shot up in height in elementary school; there was hope I'd be the basketball star of the family. One problem, I am terribly uncoordinated...
So here I am, approaching my 40th year of existence and I have a new dream; a new goal. I intend to compete in a bodybuilding competition one year from now. I have one year to lose about 40 lbs and 20% body fat. I'm gonna do it. I'm stubborn and I'm prideful. So, I'm gonna do it. But I have no doubt the journey will be difficult. So, I hope this documentation of my process and progress will make you laugh, make you cry and perhaps even inspire you to pursue your dreams - to set your own goals. I'm proof that it's okay to change them and pursue new ones and it's never too late.

I will be posting pics of my progress on my bodybuilding.com bodyspace. Feel free to follow me there, too. WARNING: There are pictures of me in a bikini on that site. Send anyone with heart conditions and children into the next room before viewing.

See ya in the gym
- K